I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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