Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
