so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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