i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
