You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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