That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
