Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
