After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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