I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
