I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
