i permit you to call me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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