Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
