Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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