Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
