WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
