So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize