I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize