Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
