Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
