It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
