I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
