ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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