meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
