woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
