my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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