is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
