I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
