she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This is the high leading the old right now
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
