So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
