i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
