walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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