it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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