Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
