I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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