every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
