as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
