tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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