He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
