So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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