I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
