Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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