he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Can you bring me the toilet please
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
