you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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