Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
