so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Vodka?
Forever.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
