Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I have post one night stand depression
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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