My first STD was from a foam party
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
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