When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
