I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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