Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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