I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize