dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
