the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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