1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
