you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
