I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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