forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
