Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
