Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
