small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
