You just made me feel so damn special
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
