Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Text me some of your sweat
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
