I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
