I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
