Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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