dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
