How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
