So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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