Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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