wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
