i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
