i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
