Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
